I'm Not Here to Please You

To my friends and family,

For the eighteen years, I have been living my life trying to please you all. Having certain friends, wanting to wear certain clothes, talking a certain way - even believing certain things. Whatever else you can think of, I would try to do it – for you.

It wasn’t until last month (January 2017) that God pricked my heart and showed me that it was wrong. I was not created to please man, I was created to please God. That’s the first thing I learned in homeschool: the chief end of man is to glorify God.

You all ask me:

“Why don’t you try dressing this way, it would show your personality?!”

“Could you just do (this certain thing), it would make life easier?!”

“Why don’t you get a job? You need to learn how to fend for yourself!”

“What if you never get married? How will you take care of yourself then?”

“Why don’t you attend this college? You would be amazing at this degree!”

…… the list could go on, but you get the general idea.

I’ve never responded to your questions, afraid that you all wouldn’t be pleased with the response I’ve been wanting to give you. However, it’s time that I respond and answer your questions, not to please you – but to stand up for what I believe and to be authentic.

To those who ask me to dress a certain way:

I have chosen to dress the way I do, because it’s not a common trend. Could I express my personality better in a new fashion sense? I suppose I could, but then it wouldn’t be Alisha, it would be the current fashion sense of 2017.

The way I dress already expresses my personality. I’m unique, original, spontaneous, spunky, fun … and my mom says I march to the beat of my own drum. The way I dress is unique, original, spontaneous, spunky, fun, and shows my own drum beat.

Do I always match? Hmm … well, according to Pinterest I do ;P According to my mom and sister – it looks like I fell in multiple paint pans – or ran into the rainbow.

I don’t want to follow a certain fashion personality trend. I want to dress that expresses who God has made me – in a modest way.

Do I always dress modestly?

No, I fail at that sometimes. Sure I don’t wear things that are too short, low cut, etc., but I do wear things that are a tad snug/tight. Does that make me immodest? No, it makes me a perfectly flawed human. Modesty is a heart issue, and my heart isn’t in wearing the too snug/tight clothes to draw attention.

I don’t intend to dress with a particular trend, style, in certain colors, etc.

I intend to dress that expresses my individuality.

Why?

I’m not here to please you

To those who want me to something in order make life easier:

I appreciate you wanting to help me in my life’s journey – I really do. However, I am quite happy in what I’m doing with my life right NOW.

My philosophy is this:

The Christian’s life is not supposed to be easy.

It is supposed to be a strenuous hike. It’s stalk full of areas to stop and pray for courage to make it through, faith to take on the rest, and bravery for the uneven trails/tough trials ahead.

If it ever gets easier than what it’s supposed to be, then we’re doing it all wrong. We shouldn’t want to go on a leisure walk. We should desire to gain resistance to the ways of the world.

I don’t desire anything to make my life easier.

I want to struggle in my life’s journey, so others can see God’s fingerprints all over it. So others can marvel at how God helped me. So others can see Christ in me!

Why?

I’m not here to please you

To those who want me to get a job and learn how to fend for myself:

I agree with you to some degree.

Anyone should learn how fend for themselves. They should learn how to cook, clean, care for a home, do the laundry, budget, etc.

However, I personally don’t tend toward the world’s way of thinking in one (out of many) area of life.

I don’t believe that a young lady should go and live on her own. There isn’t one example in Scripture where a young lady leaves her father’s house to be on her own.

I Personally, have left the covering of both my Heavenly Father and earthly father last summer; I regret every decision I made.

As a young lady, I need to learn how to submit to the covering God has placed over me. That’s not to say that I long to be treated (or am treated) like a doormat. Absolutely not! However, as a young woman I am called to honor, respect, submit to the man God has placed in my life – be it my dad/pastor, my husband (someday, Lord-willing), etc.

How can I learn to be submissive if I’m living on my own?

How can I learn from my parents what a Godly relationship/marriage looks like if I don’t have the example because I’m on my own?

How can I learn to be the godly wife/mother I desire to be, if I don’t have my mother’s example because Alisha decided to follow the pattern of this world?

Scripture says:

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will.”

~ Romans 12:2

I have decided to forsake copying the behavior and customs of this world, and am letting God transform me in a new person. He has changed (and is continuously changing) my way of thinking – and I’m proud of that.

I don’t desire to go out and learn to fend for myself.

Nor do I desire to go out into the work force and get a job.

Why?

I’m not here to please you

To those who wonder/focus about/on the what-ifs of my life:

If God never has me getting married, then great! I won’t be concerned for things of the world (see 1 Corinthians 7:32-33).

I’m not focusing on the what-ifs … those are needless and none of my concern.

This year God is teaching me to live in the now, and not in the could’ve, should’ve, would’ve, might’ve.

I appreciate you having my best interest in mind, but let me say this (respectively):

If I’m not concerned about the what-ifs, then you really shouldn’t be either.

I’m not letting the what-ifs of my life consume me.

I’m not concerning myself with things of the future.

Why?

I’m not here to please you

To those who want me to go to a certain college, for a certain degree:

I have never been an academic person, nor will I ever be (Lord only knows how I will ever home-school children someday lol).

Going to a typical college has never been, nor never will be a desire of mine. It will only do negative in my life:

~ put me in debt (my mom is STILL paying off her student loans – 16 years later)

~ bring me down and cause me to view myself as a failure, due to my lack of academicness (if that wasn’t a word … it is now)

~ throw me into the lion’s den of constant temptation

Now, while I won’t attend a college, I have felt God lead me to pursue further knowledge in my faith.

What do I mean by that?

I am enrolled into a Bible college, in which I won’t be in debt with, be brought down as a failure, and won’t be thrown into the mouth of temptation.

Lord-willing I will be graduating in two years, and will be receiving my certificate in Personal Discipleship/Biblical Studies with an emphasis in Biblical Evangelism.

I am excited to see what God does in my life, and how He will use me.

I know attending a college was your desire, but it wasn’t mine – therefore I will not pursue that.

Why?

I’m not here to please you

I understand that some of you may be disappointed in my responses.

I understand that the ways in which I live my life aren't popular in your eyes.

I understand that the way I'm living is foreign because you weren't raised that way.

I understand - or try to at least.

But please know this:

the way I am living my life, is not meant to please you, but to please God.

Living this life I feel directed to live, makes me happy.

Anything you say in reference in how I should live, won't make a difference.

Why?

I'm not here to please you