What About Crushes?
(not to reader: I do not think I have the right answer to this topic … or any others I write about. This is something I’m passionate about, and want to share my thoughts with you. I am not bashing any groups of people in any way. We all live our lives according to what we think is right)
Crushes. The seven letter word that has different meanings to different groups of people.
To some having a crush is looked down upon. Considered an absolute abomination. They tell their child that if they ever have a crush, then they need to go to God and ask for forgiveness.
To some, crushes are a natural part of life. I guess it could be as natural as the rainfall.
It’s something that parents somewhat look forward to in their child’s life … and what they also regret to come to fruition. They encourage their child to give it to God and not to dwell on their crush.
Then you’ve got the people who long for the day their child has a crush on someone. The parents (along with other family members) encourage the child to go out of his/her way to get attention from the crush. They allow the child to put pictures of their crush on their wall, mirror, etc. They get excited when the child and their crush share their entire heart with each other and become bf / gf.
Just recently I heard a conversation in the library that went somewhat like this:
(I have obviously changed the names for privacy sake)
“Sally, I need help! I just found out that Jane has a crush on a boy at co-op.”
“Molly, don’t encourage her! Crushes are a sin. Here’s what I suggest: take her out of the co-op and join a new one, take her out of AWANA, don’t let her go to youth group. Oh and when it comes to Friday night fellowship, she needs to stay by your side … or Joe’s side. You can not allow her to take part in that sin.”
When I heard this conversation, it made my heart sink. I knew that everyone had different views of crushes, but I didn’t understand the vast differences.
Now, I know we all live our lives to what we think to be right. But Sally’s point of view baffled me, and greatly confused me. Until the answer came to me - light bulb moment everyone.
What Sally recommended to Molly was not the answer. She was only encouraging avoiding the “problem”. Sure they can do all the suggested to Jane, but that will only cause her to resent her parents (and quite possibly Sally). It doesn’t speak to the heart of the problem (even though there isn’t one). Until they address the “problem”, they will always encounter the exact same thing with Jane.
Crushes themselves are not a sin, a problem, the cause of repentance, etc.
They are, as I stated in the beginning, as natural as the rainfall. No matter what, they will happen. It’s only when you don’t take your thoughts captive, that having a crush becomes a “problem”. If you think so and so is cute. Fine, but leave your thoughts there. Give your crush to God, pray for so and so’s future (without including you in it), and determine to treat him as the brother-in-Christ he is. Trust me, these steps truly help!
I know that some people reading this post, may be thinking that I have no room to talk about this. To some degree they are right. But I look at it this way, we all have mistakes to be made, lessons to be learned, and a voice to be heard.
Yes I made a mistake (who doesn’t?). Yes, I’ve learned my lesson (I’m sure all of you have too). And I have a voice that needs to be heard (no matter what!).
So, what about crushes?
What about them? They are bound to happen, no matter how many times you repent, how ever many co-ops you pull out of, etc. You can have a crush on someone who lives a few states away (I speak from experience).
Also, let’s talk about some other circumstances.
Interest.How do you think interest comes about. It comes about through a crush. So and so finds someone extremely attractive (to them). They finally get the opportunity to get to know their crush (whom they’ve given to God).
Marriage.I don’t know about your parents, but mine still have a crush on the other. They don’t necessarily have to control their crush … because they’re married.
In my opinion, crushes in-and-of themselves aren’t sinful. It all depends on how you control them.
If you have a crush on someone, don’t put their pictures on your wall, mirror, etc. Don’t let your thoughts wander to be inappropriate. Don’t flaunt yourself. (I think you get the general idea)
After you give your crush to God and pray for him, start making Jesus your First Love. Start having a crush on the Man who thinks you’re to die for ;)
What are your thoughts about crushes?
How do you control your crush?
Comment below, I’d love to hear your thoughts :)