“Alisha, you think this year is hard. Just wait until you're 21! That's the age you try to find yourself and you go through different experiences in order to find your true self. It will be tough. Make sure you stay grounded in the Word and prayer!”
I started hearing that statement (or some other form of it) at the age of 16. I remember thinking “yeah but you weren't raised the same way that I've been raised. It will be different for me! I'll always be grounded in the Word and prayer. Nothing will change. Just they wait and see!” I was invincible … like all other teens. We aren't affected by what affected our parents. We are unnoticed and unexposed super humans (yeah right).
But like the foolish young adult I am, I didn't use caution. I had my super human costume on … ready to prove those who warned me, wrong. After all, I'm a pastor's daughter … I wouldn't lose sight of what was right.
Then the inevitable happened.
I was starting to be devoured by the roaring lion (1 Peter 5:8).
My quiet time with God was the first to diminish … then prayer … then everything else. I became consumed with someone else, rather than Christ. I couldn't discern the Holy Spirit, I only heard the loud voice.
I had lost the super human powers I once possessed.
The past month and a half, I've been trying to get back into the swing of being in the Word and being prayerful. However, it's been tough. My parents have helped me, a dear lady I've become close to has offered some advice, and a few dear friends have offered advice/help/encouragement/prayers as well.
With all the advice and help, you'd like to think that my Spiritual life would be back to what it was in April/May …. but it's not.
What's the problem? I've prayed for God to help me, why hasn't He answered?
Sometimes, silence is the answer to our prayers and is His way of making us persistent in our prayer. And with our persistence, comes His patience.
So there's no problem! He has answered me. God is only silent this time because He's pulling me to a persistent attitude in my prayer life.
Now, in the beginning there was indeed a problem. Since I was mad about the loss of my super human powers, I decided to rebel and take things into my own hands.
We all know that rebellion is a sin to God. We also know that sin separates us from God. We also know that God could have stopped me from going my own way.
But sometimes God let's us walk on our own so He can pull us to Him and so we can grow in Him.
I have to believe deep in my heart that the Lord has purpose when He's silent. I have to know that He doesn't afflict pain on us, but that sometimes He holds back to grow us in our faith in Him.
In a way we are redeemed when He holds back.
The best part is this:
when we press in with persistence, He pulls us in to be more like His Son and increase our faith.
Yes, it may seem like God hasn't answered me. But He has … His silence is the answer. He wants His baby girl to press in, press on, and finish this race strong. He decided to be silent in order to grow my faith and make me more like His Son.
So now that I'm not a teen with awesome powers, I don't have to worry … because right now …
my God is silent!