I'm Not Waiting {an open letter to my future husband}

Dear Future Husband,

For the past 11 years, I have believed people when they say “wait for your future husband, he'll come when the time is right.”  I have indeed waited, and waited, and waited.

But I'm no longer waiting for you.

When I say that “I'm waiting for my future husband” that is implying that my life is, to some extent, on hold.  It's not.

In about about five months I will be on a plane headed to Ghana, West Africa.  It's exciting and thrilling and terrifying and nerve-wracking all at the same exact time.  I am so excited to be heeding the call God has placed on my heart for the past 10.5 years.

In today's society, people expect that at the ages of 18-21 a girl should have a diamond on her finger {if she doesn't then she's deemed an old maid}.  They have met Mr. Right and couldn't be any happier.  This is true for many girls, I have at least six friends who are courting, engaged, or married.  They all started courting at the age of 18 and married by 19-20.  Their social circles are quite big and overflow with young men {or friends of theirs love playing match-maker LOL}.  That's not the case for me – my life represents that of a pastor's daughter {no social circle or match-maker}.  To some of the young ladies around me, I'm an old maid.  I'm totally okay with that {if I am truly}, however that doesn't change my stand in life.
I'm not waiting for you.

The current “bucket list” trend is every where you turn.  Adding things you want to do + places to see with your future spouse.  I can't take it any longer.  Sure I want to do things with you + visit different places with you.  In fact, you being here with me would make it much easier.  The country I'm going to in Africa would be much safer if you were to be with me.  Sure, I'm nervous … dare I even say scared?  It would be much easier if I were already married.  Not too mention, would my parents be more at ease about me going if you were to go with me.  But that is not the case.  I'm not putting my life on hold until God brings us together.
I'm not waiting for you.

Kayaks, go-karts, four-wheelers, and roller-coasters are such a delight with two people.  However I'll have to continue to enjoy those things just me and my Daddy.
I'm not waiting for you.

I've heard countless girls {I used to be one} say “I'm saving myself for my future husband.  Physically and emotionally … I want to be his and only his.”  Or some other variation of words.

I'm not doing that either.  Sure I'm still saving myself … but not for you.  For God.  God has called me to live a life of purity, not you.  If I'm saving myself for someone it's my Lord, not you.  I pray that if we ever get married that I'm the best wife God has ever wanted me to be.  If not – at the end of the day, Jesus is my end goal, not you.

So with all that in mind, I'm not doing anything for you.  I'm not waiting to do anything for you.  What I do, I do for the Lord {Colossians 3:23}.  So whatever my future holds – attending a friends wedding, going to Ghana, etc., I'll be doing with or without you.
Whether it's riding a roller-coaster, four wheeler, or a go-kart – I'll enjoy them on my own.  I'll be achieving my hopes and goals on my own, all to the glory of God {1 Cor. 10:31}.

Darling, if we ever get married, our marriage will be God-honoring, Kingdom furthering, and full of crazy adventures.  But for me those have already begun.  I hope and pray you can say the same thing too.

I love you!  Always have … always will! <3