"Would you like an adventure now,
or shall we have our tea first?" - Peter Pan
In my last post I explained why I believe the way I do! But lately, I haven't shared with what God has shared with me lately!
I'm finally in total reckless abandon in Him - and have finally reached the point of true contentment!
Yes I still desire to serve a man I call "my hubbers", but it's not my every waking thought and no longer a raging desire.
Having a man in my life will not going to solve any loneliness I may feel - only My Lover (Christ) can solve!
However, I still long to serve the man God has for me - whoever it may be, whenever He sees fit to put him in my life. But I think God hasn't shown me or revealed who the man is, because I have never fully understood that marriage isn't meant to fulfill me. Marriage is meant to depict Christ and His Bride.
"Then what is marriage suppose to be or even do??"
Marriage is to fulfill the image of Christ loving His Bride and vice versa.
I also finally understand that marriage isn't a bed of roses - no marriage is perfect. Sometimes the couple will fall. But when they have Christ as their center focus - they'll be able to get back up and walk hand in hand and learn from the mistakes they make (self-centeredness has no room in a God filled marriage).
We as women weren't created to be fulfilled by men or suck the life outta them. We were created to be their help-meet and to fulfill them.
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I know that you all don't really know the reason behind why I've chosen to live my life the way I do - so hopefully this post will kind of explain it to you!
I am going to try my absolute hardest to be respectful with this email! If I seem to be disrespectful – I'm sorry, but I am very passionate about my convictions, and I'm tired of the constant strife they seem to bring!
I want to share a definition with you all – it may help you understand the reason behind my “radical belief”.
a standard that serves as a springboard for your choices
At nine years old, I made the decision of waiting for/wanting God's best – it wasn't forced on me by my parents or pastor, nor was I brainwashed! My parents had no idea the kind of commitment I made – saving myself for the man God has for me (they didn't understand or know what it was). That choice (like all the rest I've made) was a choice I made by myself with God's leading!!
As I got older I knew that I wouldn't get support from the majority of my family and friends, but I always “figured” that the small minority would show a little support. After all, I'm not living in sin like most of the world! But soon the small minority started showing their disapproval, and I just can't seem to be the duck (like my Papa always told me).
For six and a half years now I have lived under the disapproval, constant nagging, and unbiblical teaching of the world, some of my friends, my family, etc.
For six and a half years I have let my mom stand up for me + and have not spoken up for myself.
After six and a half years, I'm finally ready to be heard by everyone!!!!
My mom recently told me that someone wanted me “to go out and find myself”. So I'm happy to share - I have found myself:
I'm a 20 year old young woman who has no desire to get drunk (nor consume any alcohol), do drugs (I'll stick with my ibuprofen and Aspirin haha), go to parties, lay with any guy I find cute, or play around with being lesbian. I desire to be counter-cultural and wait for God's best. I desire to be a young woman of faith, who is loving her
single-hood. Who doesn't need the approval of every man she meets – because I already have the approval from a Man … my Man Jesus!
I found all that out just by reading God's Word, observing how society chooses to live, and by being me – all while living at home. If none of you aren't satisfied with who I am and who I am becoming, then … I'm sorry!
Why is it that the world complains/tears down others and how they have chosen to live immoral lives, but when I choose to live a higher morally standard life – the world complains/tears me down too??? I can't seem to win for losing with anyone!! I'm told all the time “Ali go out and experience all the fun the world has to offer!”
Readers, is fun what society is living??? As I see it it's lack of conviction which leads to everything society has gotten into:
:: drugs + alcohol + smoking + cussing + tattoos
:: sex before marriage
:: unwanted pregnancy/teen pregnancy
:: living with someone before marriage
:: abortion / adoption
I have decided that I don't want any part of this type of “fun” – because all it leads to defiling the Lord's temple (my body) and goes against His Word!! I want to continue to live my life with higher moral standards. So I ask:
What is wrong with higher moral standards?
The higher standards in God's Word (the ones by which I live my life) are not irrelevant, but completely applicable to finding God's best in my life (and yours). They are directly from the Bible, and show that I love the Lord (Deuteronomy 30:20)
At nine years old, I made a decision to live a life of a true God girl – much like my favorite woman from the Bible … Ruth.
Before she married a godly young man, Ruth lived in an ungodly culture (Judges 21:25). The culture was Pagan, and worshiped not the One true God, but many false gods. When she married, God changed her life – she became a great woman of faith! After her husband died, Ruth did not allow the past influences of an ungodly culture keep her from setting new standards and making wise choices for her life that would honor God. Instead, she chose to break her family's sin cycle and establish a new godly cycle.
The ungodly culture that Ruth faced, is that which America is today according to Judges 21:25:
“In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes.”
Ungodly cycles can be broken! My destiny isn't something that is left to fate or chance; it is the product of wise choices.
Many of you may think that my convictions are unrealistic or that I'm stubbornly opinionated, but with Jesus' strength I am standing firm, unwavering as I wait for God's best! Which is much like what my papa told me:
“Just be yourself, if they don't like it… that's their problem.”
I'm told quite often “I won't be surprised if you never get married.” To be honest I won't either. I have given God full control of my future – if He wants me married, then the right man will come along … He doesn't need my help matching me up with my southern boy! If He doesn't then I won't have the distraction of being married (1 Corinthians 7:32), and I'll be able to serve Him fully in the way He wants me to!! Just note, being single the rest of my life is not my hearts desire, but I'm fully content in where ever God has me going in the journey of life.
It doesn't matter how much others tell me that I'm making a big mistake, or that I'm missing out, or whatever it is I'm “doing wrong”. Nothing anybody says will change my mind in how I'm choosing to live my life. I'm being controlled by God's Holy Spirit, not by what the world, my friends, my extended family, or my family say.
My purpose in this post is that it would diminish any strife my convictions cause. If any of you would like to come to me about my convictions, I'm a big girl now and I can answer for myself.
I would like to end this post with a question for you all (none of you don't have to answer the question if you don't want to):
Why are you so adamant on persecuting my convictions?
#1 : you talk to your friends or church family about farm related topics
#2 : you like the smell of dairy farms
#3 : you love butchering chickens
#4 : you get really excited when your parents come home with 24 meat chickens (butchering is coming soon)
#5 : you jump on the opportunity of goin' huntin' this November
#6 : you begin to enjoy your chicken chores
#7 : your Snapchat stories are mostly farm related
#8 : you don't mind dirt under your nails
# 9 : you don't mind taking care of your neighbor's horses + cats while they are on a trip
#10 : you try convincing your parents to get a goat + that you NEED one