Are you fair weathered or loyal?

>> What is friendship supposed to be like? <<
Many people have a different "ideas" of what a friendship is supposed to be/look like.  Some have the mentality of "we won't talk about faith/religion/denomination" or "no idle conversation" or "we'll talk about boys, fashion, boys, TV, boys, music, + boys."
There is definite merit to the second mentality ... conversations should not be pointless, but you don't have to talk about faith in order for it not to be idle.  And at times, the first mentality could be practiced.  However, if you can't talk about your faith with your "friend" then you may need to decide whether or not this is a friendship you should keep.

So let's take a look and see what the Bible says about what a friendship should be like.

"Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful." Psalm 1:1

This verse is pretty clear in who you should not associate yourself with ... so we don't need to go in depth with this.  But you need to ask yourself:

*Do your friends build up your faith, or do they tear it down?

This question is important because the influence of true friends should draw you closer to God, not hinder your relationship with Him.

So now we know that friendship is supposed to be:

*Edifying/encouraging/inspiring

and it's supposed to 

*build up your faith


>>> My friend + I stopped talking for about a year, because of the difference in denominations.  Is that wrong? <<<

I can't give a definite answer with this one actually ... here's why:

// if you + your friend stopped talking because she was trying to convert you to her religion/denomination, then no you weren't wrong.

But if ...

// you + your friend stopped talking because you stepped over the line, she responded a tad harsh + you went to your mom + dad's rescue ... then yes you were in the wrong.

The last example is what happened to me + my dear friend.  My family + I had just been hurt by the church we were attending.  So when my friend + I got in a "squabble" ... well we (my family + I took it personally). 

Just this morning, I came across a verse that really spoke to me + went perfectly with this post/topic.

"He that covereth a trangression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter seperateth very friends." Proverbs 17:9

This verse doesn't mean we can cover our own sins/trangessions!  It's talking about forgetting whatever your friend has done/or once did.  It also means that you don't throw past mistakes in their face ... what past is past ... forgive + forget.


My dear friend + I are in communication again ... and we have taken Proverbs 17:9 to heart.  After we apologized for our rash decisions, we don't talk about what happened a year ago ... we have chosen to forgive + forget.

>>> All the friends I once had, have all ended our friendship!  Why? <<<

"A friend love at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Proverbs 17:17

Many times, girls encounter "fair-weather friends".  They stick around when the friendship benefits them and then leave when they're not getting anyting out the relationship/friendship.  So maybe you've encountered friends like this or maybe you need to ask yourself:

*What kind of friend am I?

True friendship requires : sacrifice + loyalty + understanding

Sacrifice - you won't always get what you want out of the friendship. Much like marriage, it's a give/receive relationship.

You may giving for what seems like an eternity!  Giving advice, giving encouragment, giving your time, giving love, and giving patience.  
But then the wheel turns ... instead of giving, you are now on the receiving end.  Your receiving advice, receiving encouragment, receiving all their time, receiving love, and receiving the blessings from their patience.

Loyalty  - there will be times when you feel like the friendship isn't worth all the time + effort. However, don't give up ... show your friend that you will be there through the thick and thin.  Don't prove to be a fair-weather friend ... prove to be a true friend.

Understanding - this is so important!  When you come to the realization that you two are at different areas in your faith, the better off your friendship will be.

You may be at the point of understanding the true meaning of surrender + true purity, while your friend may be facing a situation in which she'll have to experience harship + sorrow in to get to where you are.  And while you can try to convice her + encourage her, all that that is really doing is making you sound "holier-than-thou".

While sacrifice + loyalty are important factors in a frienship, I truly believe that understanding is extremely important!

So are you a:

fair weather friend?
or a:
friend of sacrifice + loyalty + understanding?


<< In my frienship, the conversations aren't all faith based ... is that bad? <<<

Depending on what the conversations are about, I wouldn't consider it a bad thing.

If you two only talk about fashion, hair, shoes, a boyfriend, and the current "heart throb"; then yes it's a bad thing.

But if you two talk about everything, from views on faith all the way to coffee vs. tea; then no it's not a bad thing.

Just remember this :

you're conversation needs to be pure + of good report (Phil. 4:8).

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Any thoughts on this topic?  Leave a comment and let me know what your thoughts are ;)
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Happy Tuesday y'all :)

In HIS grace, Alisha
       xoxoxox

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