7.04.2014

A call to modesty << why I believe what I do : part 1 >>

As you and a close friend are chatting over coffee at a local coffee shop, she asks you a question.  “I know you dress modestly, but isn’t it hard when those around you don’t? Why exactly do you dress modestly?” You knew this question would come up eventually, so you begin to explain the importance of modesty, why we are called to modesty, and that modesty is a matter of the heart.
<< Is modesty important? >>
When you dress modestly, you are helping the young men (also your brothers-in-Christ) to keep their hearts and minds pure. Job 30:31 says, “I have made a covenant with my eyes; Why then should I look upon a young woman?”
It is an understatement that men have a huge difficulty when it comes to looking at ladies.  Why make it difficult for godly men, who have made the same covenant with their eyes as Job, by wearing seductive articles of clothing? This does not just apply to young women.  The same concept applies to young men as well.  Many Christian ladies have also made a covenant not to look at a young man.  Why would you continue wearing shirts with cut-off sleeves, or your baggy pants down to your ankles? Just as tight, seductive clothing can cause young men to stumble, sleeveless shirts and pants to your ankles draw the wrong attention from young ladies as well.
Modesty also reflects to others your desire to be different, and the decision to dress modestly could be a great way to share your faith. I’m not saying that you should dress modestly in order to get attention, because then you are doing it for the wrong reason.  Still, remember that you may be the only “Bible” people may ever read! When others see that you don’t dress like others around you, they will start looking at other aspects of your life, and may eventually come up to you and ask what is different about you.
Another benefit of dressing modestly is the respect that you gain from those around you.  When you dress modestly, it seems to challenge men and young men (specifically) to treat you like a lady and give you the respect you deserve.  Again, I’m not telling you to dress in order to get respect; I am simply telling you that respect can be a blessing that comes along with the decision to dress modestly.
<< Are we called by God to modesty? >>
God desires His children to dress modestly.  We read His command in Deuteronomy 22:5, “A woman shall not wear man’s clothing, nor shall a man put on a woman’s clothing; for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God.”
If God did not care about what we wear or how we dress, then He would nothave added that commandment in the Bible!
1 Timothy 2:9 says, “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments.”
Paul wrote to Timothy and specifically told him that the women were to wear “proper clothing, modestly and discreetly.”  “What is proper clothing?” you may ask.  Proper clothing would be a skirt to the knee cap (or longer), a ¾” sleeve shirt, a v-neck shirt with a lace camisole (with adjustable straps) underneath, flats (instead of high heels), etc.  Like I said before, if modesty was not important to God, then He would not have had it added in the Bible.
As women (and men), we are to obey the call to modesty…not because Alisha is calling us, but because God has called us!
<< Modesty is a matter of the heart? >>
To dress modestly your heart has to be ready, otherwise you won’t be happy, and you will easily go back to wearing seductive clothing.  I am not saying the devil will never come to you and try to make you discontent in obeying the call to modesty, because he will. The devil will always bring thoughts to your head, reminding you that “wearing pants is a whole lot more convenient” or “if you wear pants, you will have more friends” or “wearing pants will make you ‘fit in.’”  The devil does not want you to obey the call to modesty, because when you do you are a step closer to conforming to Christ.
God wants your heart to be in the right place when you obey His call to modesty. He wants you to do it because He’s called you to it, not because you have to. He wants it to be your conviction.  He does not want this to be the conviction of your conservative friend, as you just follow suit.  He wants you to dress modestly for Him, because He commands you to do so.
If your heart is not ready to obey the call to modesty, then God does not want you to heed the call. He wants your heart to be ready.  Just remember, God does not call the equipped, He equips the called! If He’s calling you, He will make your heart ready for what He’s calling you to do.
<< Is modesty required? >>
To be honest, I wish it was, because then then the world would be closer to being a better place! But to answer the question: no, modesty is not required.  You will not go to Hell if you decide that you do not need to obey the call to modesty! You only go to Hell if you refuse to heed His call to Salvation (but that’s a completely different topic).
God does not force anyone to dress modestly.  He wants a willing heart to obey His call!
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So, after you finish answering your friend’s questions, she seems to understand all you said. As you two go your own ways, you silently pray that God will convict her, and that He will help her obey the call to modesty

8 comments:

  1. Interesting post.

    I used to be what I would call "conservative" with my dress. Long (knee-length) shorts, t-shirts that covered my shoulders and collarbone, etc. I was extremely conscious of any hint of what might be deemed immodesty, in myself and others. I would look with pity on the poor girls who wore two-piece swimsuits or tube tops or short shorts; clearly, those temptresses needed Jesus. In short, I became legalistic in my dress.

    The Lord convicted me of this sinful heart problem. Through His word, He revealed to me that modesty isn't about adhering to an arbitrary list of rules, it's about dressing to the glory of God. I have had extensive conversations with my father, brothers, and a few male friends, and all have assured me there's nothing scandalous or stumble-block-worthy about my knees and upper arms. It is SO freeing to know that I don't have to dress out of fear, but of joy!

    As a side note, I have noticed that many of the Christian women I admire most are fairly laid-back about their clothing. They have no problem wearing modest, comfortable clothing: sleeveless shirts, jeans, shift dresses, capris, high heels. But they radiate Jesus far more than do some women I know who dress extremely modestly (always wearing long dresses/skirts and sometimes headcoverings). Why? The first group of women shine Christ's unconditional love through their actions and love for others. The second group often can unconsciously project a standoffish attitude, one that says "I'm better than you". Even if the second group isn't acting superior, many less modest girls can feel unwelcome because of the group's extremely conservative dress (as I know from conversations with such girls). How we act matters a million times more than what we wear.

    Now, I don't mean that we can wear or do whatever we want just to make nonChristians feel more welcome. However, I do believe we have freedom in Christ and don't have to follow strict rules. Nowhere in the Bible does it say to only wear 3/4+ sleeves! I don't think anyone could reasonably call a short-sleeved t-shirt "seductive." As long as your clothing isn't tight and doesn't show your stomach, upper thighs, or chest, I think it is perfectly reasonable. Men aren't "stumbled" by women who wear modest pants (is it a secret that we have two legs?)

    A great article on this topic that I would recommend for you: http://bighouseinthelittlewoodsblog.blogspot.com/2012/05/very-last-modesty-article-ever.html

    How did you arrive at your definition of "proper clothing"?

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  2. Hello Miss Alisha,
    I have been reading your blog for awhile now and I truly appreciate your passion for Christ and modesty!But as I read this article I couldn't help saying something as a fellow sister in Christ and believer in modesty.
    I was truly surprised by your stating of what type of clothing young ladies should be dressing themselves in.
    Don't you think it's a little silly to state that the only acceptable dress for young ladies is a skirt( a lot of pants can be more modest than skirts) (And more appropriate for many occasions), 3/4 length sleeves( Is a cute blouse with short sleeves immodest? That would REALLY limit what a gal can wear) and flats? . Do you believe that heels are wrong? Are they immodest when worn by a person who is acting modest ? I know so many meek, modest, you women who can sport a pair of heels and add to their beauty. And they are not seductive at all. I really feel confused. I feel, that if you are right in what you say, than God is really a restrictive God and my choices are VERY limited. It's sort of....... well, distressing.
    I really would love if you could answer my honestly thought out questions with an open heart because I am truly looking for answers.
    I am not at all trying to bring you are any of your convictions or beliefs down. I just would love to know if you can answer these questions with a clear heart. I highly appreciate you honest heart and wish to reach other people for Christ through you blog.
    blessings,
    anna

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    Replies
    1. Anna,
      I will definitely try to answer your questions.

      -only skirts? Yes and no ma'am. The Lord tells us in Deut. 22:5 that a man shouldn't wear women's clothing and a woman shouldn't wear a man's clothing. And yes while oants are "more modest" than some of tge skirts today, it's not what you have on that makes you modest. What makes you modest is the attitude of your heart. If your heart isn't modest, then your dressing in modest is in vain.

      -I simply stated this as an example. I myself wear short sleeves .... and prefer them in the summer time. I just don't like my shoulders showing (that's just my preference).

      -I don't believe heels are modest. Yes you can wear them with a modest outfit, but they are intended to be seductive ...... so I don't encourage them. If any of my readers choose to wear them that's fine with me.

      I simply stated the clothing I did as a mere example because modestybis looked at differently.

      We do not have a restricting God ....... He is the same yesterday, today, and forever!

      I'm very sorry I wasnt clear in stating that those clothing suggestions were mere examples.

      I hope I answered your questions well enough.

      Thank you for asking :)

      In HIS grace, Alisha

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  3. I love your spirit, and your heart in encouraging others to dress modestly. However I don't agree with your view on only skirts. The Bible does state that women shouldn't put on men's clothing, however in our day and age pants are not "men's clothing". And pants can really be worn with modesty and femininity. Tunics are a great thing...lol. I used to wear all skirts too until I came too the realization through scripture that is really wasn't necessary to wear all skirts, and sometimes pants are even more practical/modest than skirts.... Don't get me wrong skirts are feminine and you don't really see guys wearing skirts, but its shouldn't define us. And we shouldn't say that wearing pants is wrong, because in in my opinion it is not Biblical to say that. Dont you agree? Would love more scripture if you have it....The other thing is, that Deuteronomy 22:5 is the only scripture that I can recall that references mens clothing vs. women. Just a thought. God doesn't talk about it allot, so neither should we.

    karis

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    Replies
    1. Alisha,
      I encourage you to continue standing like a tree planted by the water; be not moved.
      Karis,
      Pants are not modest. There is not a pair of pants that I've ever seen worn, while fitting 'properly', that doesn't display the entirety of the "package" for everyone to see. They are designed to hug the body and show all the curves. We are called to do everything in our own power to not make another man fall. Men's eyes are drawn to those curves - why would you want to tempt your brother to fall? Would you wish for your husband/future husband to be scoping out the little hottie in front of you in line at the grocery store because she is "innocently" wearing her pants? There is no innocence in women wearing pants these days. Women who wear pants in this modern day are doing nothing more than trying to cature the attention or the eye of others, because they are designed to draw attention. Plain and simple. Women are allowing themselves, unsuspectingly, to be prostituted though the modern clothing designs. As for defining us... what then, ma'am, would you suggest we have define us? To define us as the feminine, delicate vessels that God created us to be? You surely cannot suggest it be long hair anymore because men wear long hair these days too. We have to have something that sets us apart from the rest at first glance - what sets you apart? Modest skirts/dresses are the only thing that can do that these days. And it use to be known that way in America - you wouldn't see a woman in pants, because men "wore the pants". And although God doesn't, as you say, "talk about it a lot"... it made the book - it is definitely worth noting. We have a freedom in Christ... a freedom to heed His voice and a freedom not to. But one thing is for sure - we will ALL answer to Him for the decisions we made within that freedom. I'd rather play it safe.

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  4. So first off, I would have to argue and say that some pants are not form fitting. Most that I wear are business type of pants that have no form, and I put a tunic over it to insure that my back side is covered completely. I have consulted my dad and asked his opinion and he agrees that it is not only modest but also feminine.

    There is nothing in me(sense Christ lives in me) that would want to cause my brother in Christ to stumble, so you asking me why I would want my brother in Christ to stumble is a little bit rude. The desire of my heart is to honer and please the Lord in every issue, and I truly believe that he is not wanting me to wear only skirts.

    You asked what should define us, well my answer in short would be JESUS CHRIST! Not what we wear, yes what we wear showcases whats in our heart, but so many people have it backwards "I will wear this long skirt, and my heart will be modest". Jesus Christ came to save the sinners, not the pharisees, who cared so much about there long robes. The thing that should set us part from the world is our actions, our radiant Jesus filled personality, NOT JUST WHAT WE WEAR!

    I can tell you by experience that you can be a light to the world in more ways then just wearing skirts. Jesus Christ in us should be what people see when they see us, not just our clothing.

    Now, saying all of that. I do truly believe that God convicts some people to wear only skirts. And in wearing only skirts they are a light to the world. So bless you, if you wear all skirts, and that is what you feel the Lord wants you to do. I hope you bring others to Jesus through you skirt wearing.

    But, to say that the only way to be a Christian is to wear only skirts, and that all pants are immodest, is not true.

    May we both come to a greater fullness of all that HE is!

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  5. Hello everyone! I hope you are all in good health :)

    Okay ... I have noticed that there have been a lot of argumentitive comments written. Yes I have approved them ... but I thought it would have stopped by now.

    I don't mind if y'all comment on here .... by all means COMMENT AWAY lol ;) However, the argumentitive comments need to stop.

    The desire I have for this blog is to be a place of edification and being glorifying to the Lord, not a place of strife and contention! We all have different beliefs .... we are going to have to agree to disagree.

    You are more than welcome to comment ... and if you have questions, by all means ask away! Just please refrain from argumentative comments :)

    Thank you!

    In HIS grace, Alisha

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  6. Agree to disagree! Please forgive me if I sounded argumentative. That wasn't my intentions at all. I am sorry. I believe that God takes all through different seasons of learning who He is , so we need to respect that about each other. We will never all agree on the same thing, but that's the beautiful thing about the church. As long as our heart are set to seek and know the Lord, then we should all be loving each other as Jesus loved us. Again forgive me if it seems as though I was causing division.

    May we all seek after Him, wholeheartedly!

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Hey there, thanks for stopping by my blog! Okay so I already said what I needed to say in the post, so now is your chance...I'd love to hear what you have to say :D

Here are the basic ground rules:

- when in doubt, don't know what to do next, or even bored...leave a comment!
- be yourself
- remember, your words can plant seeds. Which seeds...that's up to you!
- I like you and what you have to say :D

So what are you waiting for?? Have fun commenting :D ♥

ttyl,
♥ Alisha ♥

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