Instead of this week's post being about engagement {like originally planned}, I am going to answer several questions a faithful reader has asked.
Is it good to pray for your future husband + children even when you don't know them?
If so, why? And what if you pray for them and God doesn't want you to get married?
Is it good to give your whole heart away in a courtship?
What if you're not sure God wants you to marry that person, but you've already given your heart to him?
These are wonderful questions, and I will attempt to answer them to the best of my ability. So let's begin :)
Is it good to pray for your future husband + children even when you don't know them?
I absolutely believe in praying for your future husband + children. You have the ability to pray for your future man's life and faith. As well as having the ability to pray against any generational curses and for your future children's faith.
Just praying for your future husband's health, faith, purity, work, etc. is critical! And the joy of being able to say “I've been praying for you for x amount of years” makes it even better.
The Bible says, “pray without ceasing” {1 Thessalonians 5:17} … never cease to pray for your future husband and children.
I really like the verse in 1 Samuel 1:27, “For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him.” Praying for your future children's well-being, faith, purity, modesty, education, etc. is also really important. Why wait until you're expecting your first child to start praying?
Pray for your man + children now!
If so, why? And what if you pray for them and God doesn't want you to get married?
Dear reader, prayer is extremely powerful and extremely important. Allow me to tell you this way:
You're future husband is out in the world, living a normal day (just like you). In fact, he's probably thinking about YOU right now. However, he may going through a very tough trial right now. Perhaps he feels lonely. Maybe a family member ran away from home. Maybe his dad lost his job. Or perhaps his grandpa/grandma passed away. Whatever the case maybe, your man may be struggling – and he needs prayer. No you don't know that he's going through any of the above mentioned trials, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't pray for him.
Prayer isn't meant to be for an easy-peasy believing journey – it's meant for every circumstance of life.
Allow me to ask a question:
Do you thank God abundantly for giving you life?
If the answer was 'yes', then ladies, thank God for giving your future husband life. Whatever you pray to God for, pray that for your future husband.
Now, in regards to the part of the question regarding the possibility of not getting married.
That's not for us to worry about, nor is it for us to know God sees fit to reveal that to us. I say pray for your future husband and children – pray for them without ceasing … don't stop!
I would much rather stay single the rest of my life, praying for my future husband and children, than to get married and not have prayed for those special people.
Is it good to give your whole heart away in a courtship?
I kinda sorta hit on this in
Courtship, however, I will go into a tad more detail here :)
There aren't “rules and regulations” when it comes to courtship. So really when it comes to courtship, we have to keep the whole “what would Jesus do” in our minds – as well as ask “would I do this if Jesus was standing here?” (says the girl who has never been in a courtship haha).
Would you hang on the young man if Jesus was standing by you?
Would you kiss the young man?
Would you go all the way?
Keeping our hearts pure is extremely important! Just because we are courting doesn't mean we need to throw purity out the window. We need to be examples to the younger believers. We need to raise the bar for the next generation.
Here is another reason it's important to save your whole heart. What if you start seeing red flags? What if you've done all you can do, and you have to call the courtship off? If you have given your whole heart to the young man, then m'dear, you will be extremely hurt. Plus, really you shouldn't call that courting, but dating.
I hate mentioning those what if's – but they're needed.
Keep your entire heart safe – even in a courtship.
What if you're not sure God wants you to marry that person, but you've already given your heart to him?
When you enter into a courtship, you should enter with the mindset of “we are planning on getting married”. Courtship should never be entered if the gentleman and young woman don't know if the other is who God wants them to be with. If they don't know for sure, then they need to diligently seek the Lord's guidance before entering into the courtship (no matter how long that takes).
Now, with the above said, allow me to preface with this:
the couple should be able to break the courtship off if need be. They shouldn't feel obligated to continue if they don't have a peace about it. Otherwise, waiting to call off the courtship will just make matters worse.
Like I've said before, keeping your heart safe in courtship (and friendships) is important. You shouldn't give your heart away.
If you have, don't worry! God will give you a clean and new pure heart (you will still have scars from your past), but you will be given a second chance.
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Prayer and purity are extremely important!
Pray for your future husband and children – no matter what! Don't cease to pray for them … you never know if your prayers will make an impact if they are facing a tough trial :)
Keep your heart pure, not just in your friendships with young men, but also in your courtship. Don't treat courtship like dating. Treat courtship like the set apart, Christ-honoring relationship it should be. Allow your courtship to reflect the love you and the gentleman have for Christ.
What are your thoughts on praying for your future husband and children?
What are your thoughts on keeping yourself pure in courtship?
Let's continue to sharpen iron ;)
